Loving Jesus More and More ♥

Hi guys. :)
I'm soo happy today.

Today I just attend church. and today our beloved pastor ps.Philip Mantofa has done his sermon.
 Honestly there is so much I wanna say right here, but I just can't tell them all, not because I don't want, but its because I don't know how to say.

I thanked God for letting @philipmantofa come to our church. I was almost lost, I was so far away from God. But today, God let me know that He loves me, and He will always be with me no matter what. I decide to serve God, to be closer to Him, and to let people know more about Him. I feel something that I never felt before. Today I decided to change the way I live, and decided to live in christ forever. I love my Lord.♥

I know I'm not perfect, I'm not good enough. But I have one heart, they are the thirst and hunger of His presence. I miss his presence. I just want to stay in His presence and worship Him.

I want to tell you something all of my beloved readers, never doubt in God, because He knows the best for us, if you feel like He don't listen to your prayer, its not because He is not listening, but its because He is planning the better plan for you.

That's all I guess, keep your heart close to God, pray a lot,seek His presence more and you'll feel Christ in your life. :)

God Bless You. :)

Muchaa lovaaa

=HUGS&KISSES=

Move On??

Holaaaaa.... :* :*

Been listening to a song by David choi 'That girl' I love this song so much. Gonna share the lyric to y'all. But because I'm a girl so I'm gonna change the title to 'That boy'

Here's the lyrics:

Oh, tonight I'm feeling fine
I'm alone, just wasting time
No friday movie nights
Or romantic candle light

I'm just having conversations
With the thoughts in my head
All I hear are angels crying
Oh, won't they just sing instead
It would be wrong for me to say

I don't need that boy by my side
I don't need that boy in my life
I don't want to talk it out
Or hold him when he cries

I don't want to say he's my kind
I don't want to say that she's mine
I don't want to tel him that
I love him more than life
More than life, yeah
Love him more than life
Yeah, yeah, yeah

Honestly, this won't do
How is he doing?
I tell myself I'm feeling swell
But I know I'm such a fool

I could take it as a new beginning
But you know I don't feel that way
Who will take all this pain away?
I know it's wrong for me to say
I don't need that boy by my side
I don't need that boy in my life
I don't want to talk it out
Or hold him when he cries

I don't want to say he's my kind
I don't want to say that she's mine
I don't want to tel him that
I love him more than life
More than life, yeah
Love him more than life
Yeah, yeah, yeah

Talk about a sin
Was the day I walked into the other side
I would run back in
I wouldn't waste no time
I know it's wrong for me to say

I don't need that boy by my side
I don't need that boy in my life
I don't want to talk it out
Or hold him when he cries

I don't want to say he's my kind
I don't want to say that she's mine
I don't want to tel him that
I love him more than life
More than life, yeah
Love him more than life
Yeah, yeah, yeah

That's all. Such a great song, so catchy. I love it. Especially the lyric. The lyric just sooo deep.
Y'all know what? Honestly I decided to give up and move on. But I always failed. Now I made up my mind to move on. I don't know how long I can resist it. I'll just hold on till the end.

Hmmm, I know I posted unimportant things. Its because I have no one to share with, no one to trust. So I hope it'll be okay if I posted about my feelings here. :D

That's all for today will have my accountancy exam tomorrow. So I should study and sleep earlier today.

See yaaaaaa ;))

God Bless You



=HUGS&KISSES=

No One Will Understand

Hi. :)

Not feeling so well these days.
I'm sick and I should take care of myself, because I'm not with my parents and I live alone here. I got a headache and a kind of fever. Just need some rest.

And I've been so gloomy. Got problems. Its about my feelings. I think that they are just so unfair. They told me to forget all of my feelings for him. But when someone in my group fall in love, they still allowed him. He even put his crush face on his wallpaper. And our leader saw it, she just act like nothing. What was that mean?? Why I can't normally fall in love with someone just like the other. Is fall in love forbidden for me? Why I can't just love someone?

And I feel so alone these days. I feel so far away from family. No one to rely on. I feel that I'm kinda useless. They never involve me in their activity. I feel like I'm the only stranger there. They have so many secrets that never let me know. They told me that they'll make me feel like they are my second family, my second mother. But I just feel like a stupid stranger.

I've tried so long, I've tried so hard to stay strong. But I can't stand it anymore. I'm tired of everything. They make me feel that my self full of hate. I once decided to quit. But I'm telling my self that I must stay strong even I'm useless, nobody likes me, no body needs me. But now, I can't stand it anymore. I really want to quit. All of them make me feel like a stupid stranger around people that busy with themselves. I don't feel like I'm around my family like they told me before.

For whoever read this, don't ever think bad about me, cause you will agree with me if you get the same problem with me. And if I'm too selfish about my own opinion I'm sorry

That's all

Thanks for reading my useless post. :)

God bless you



=HUGS&KISSES=

Fall Deeper

Holaaaaa :*

I made lots of mistakes these days and I'm trying so hard to fix them. Its just soooo hard.

Hmmmm, I planned to hang out with my classmate on wednesday, its because two of them, my twins friend is going to Singapore for their college. Gonna miss them so much, they are soooo cute, lovable, funny, and they are sooo good. 

Hmmm, for someone there I keep telling myself that these feelings will pass, but every time I hear your voice or see your face, I fall even harder for you. Its just so hard to move on.

Hmmm, I just write till here

Just wanna say good bye to my dearest friends Vivi and Vida, good luck for you there, gonna miss you. :( 

Its 12.30am here, and I'm going to sleep cause I should go to school tomorrow, the hardest challenge for tomorrow is wake up in the morning. I failed several times. --" and I don't wanna be late to school anymore so I should sleep now.

God bless you

♥♥♥♥♥

=HUGS&KISSES=

A Thoudand Years

Hola Amigosss

Feels like a year since I posted something on my blog
Nothing special happen these days

Hmmm, wanna share something.
I once really sure that I have no more feelings for him, that means I'm not long for him anymore. But tht feelings suddenly came, the feelings that I'm afraid of. And I realize that deep down in my heart I still long for him. I know we're impossible. God told me that. But I miss the old us, miss the way he smile, he talk, he laugh, his silly face, I miss him sooo much. Every single tear I cry, every time I pray for him, I fell that they're all worthless. I know that he never even think about me, even just for 1 second.

But God told me to stay strong, and I'll try my hardest, honestly I need to share this with someone, but I don't know who to share with. I feel afraid, even I know I need someone to calm me down. So I made up my mind that I will only share this with God.

Know what, I have a great spiritual family, I thanked God for his great plans in my life, for let me know those amazing people, and be a part of them.

I'm a human, I'm not perfect, I could make mistakes all the time, but every time when I make mistakes, its like God reminds me. I wanna be close to God, I don't wanna be far away from Him.

Hmmm, I guess there's nobody read my blog.
Hmmm, for somebody there. One thing that you should know. Maybe ppl think tht I'm insane, crazy, silly or anything else. But I really care of you. And I miss you.
And there was someone that asked me if I choose to take PAW as my church service is because of you. But its wrong. I choose it because I want to be closer to God. And I think God asked me to take tht.

that's all I guess thanks for anyone that spend their time to read my blog. :)

Love you guyss

God bless you


=HUGS&KISSES=

What a Wonderful World :)

Holaaa~



I thanked God for today.
Guess what, my mom bought a Galaxy Note for me!!!!!
I thinks tht galaxy note is quite cool, but its hard for me to operate it.
I don't really understand how does the system work.
Try to verify my e-mail so I cold download apps from my gnote.
But my PC is broken!!
So I asked some of my friend to help me out, most of them can't help me, but its okay.
Until I opened twitter from my blackberry I saw one of my friend, than I thought, ahaaaaa, why don't I ask him to help me.
Guess what, I found the right guy B) ahahahahah *bit over


And nowww, I could download all of the free apps from my gnote!!!



Idk why, suddenly I miss God presence, so I made up my self to read bible, after I read tht I feel something diferent. I found a paragraph in bible that impressed me


Matthew 21:22
"And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive"




Its 2.30am here. And I still can't sleep yet, I didn't sleep yesterday, so I thought maybe I could sleep really well tonight. Well, but its beyond of my expectation :D
So I decided to go out at 6 am, to help my grandma's younger sister.
She opened a restaurant that sells breakfasts , A.K.A "kopitiam"
I don't help a lot anyway, I just walking around, and my mom said that I just "bikin semak" --"



So maybe I'll have sop buntut as my lunch today, soto as my breakfast. And I haven't decided what will I have for my dinner. May be I'll eat "cha pui"
Hehehehe.....



So I just write until here, its not because I get sleepy but I just don't know what to write anymore...

See ya in next post :*


God Bless You ;)



=HUGS&KISSES=

My Mom, My Super Hero♥

Bonjourrr ~

Feel so guilty, I forgot to bring my mom's medicine.!!!!
my mom said tht it was okay, but I just can't forgive my self!! How could I forget it.
My mom condition is not really good since car accident last 2 weeks. She got her lips sewn. She got 10 stitches on her lips. But she is muchh muchh better now, Praise the Lord.

Want to tell y'all abt my mom.
I love her sooo much. More than anything and anyone in this cruel little world. ;)
My mom is my super hero, I guess y'all think the same thing abt your mom right.??She never complained, always try to make us happy, she is kind , wise and always there when I need her, never stop working even she is sick, she just try to give us the better life. Even I think tht out life is quite good now.
Once when I was in elementary school, it was a heavy rain. There is no one in our home. Its like just me , mom, and 2bros. I was still a kid tht time. So I don't understand stuffs. I told my mom tht I'm hungry, but no food at all. So my mom asked me what I want to eat. And I told her. And then she went out to bought me some foods to eat with an umbrella with her. When I think abt it now I feel so guilty. How could I being so selfish.

Once, there was a school task ( haven't moved to medan yet) and the teacher told us to bring any kind of plant with a COMPLETE condition. So it must be with the root right? And I asked my mom to find it. And when I woke up I asked my mom where is the plant and than my mom show me a kind of plant, I don't know what is that, but the most important thing is tht plan is in WITHOUT ROOT condition. I got mad, and I shouted to my mom "why are you so stupid!! ". I saw my mom's face changed. And I just kept silent back to my room and have a shower.
See?? What I've done to my dearest mom.
I still couldn't forget it until now.
Regrets always come later, so as long as your mom still alive , love her, respect her , treat her better, and always be the child that she want you to be. Don't ever hurt or disappoint you. Remember when she was pregnant, and you were in her stomach like 9months! You know how hurt, tired, painful it is? And she never complained. So just try to do your best to make your mom happy.

God bless you.

Ciaoooo~

=HUGS&KISSES=

Shout My Heart Out!!

Holaa guys,


Don't know how to start.
Ummmm, I'm still normal, so its not my fault if I'm falling for someone.
But we will never be together, the word tht can describe us is 'impossible'.



I've been thinking of him, I've tried to move on, try to forget him. But the more and more I tried to ignore him, the memories tht he gave to me could suddenly appear. So how I supposed to forget??


I know it just a process, and try to be mooreeee grown up, and think maturely, I know God will always be with me. So I just ignore and ignore even it hurts and sooo hard.


One of my leader said. Love your process, and keep growing. I love my leaders sooo much. They just like my second mommies. And y'all know how much I love my mom.

Sometimes you can't get what you want. You may feel sad, disappoint, upset, but one thing that you should know. God have planned a better future for you.

Keep growing in God.

God Bless you =))



=HUGS&KiSSES=

unforgetable moment part 4

I guess i  just write until here.

I MUST wake up 'earlier' tomorrow.

My mom promised me tht she'll get me a galaxy note tomorrow.

Hope she didn't just blow me. --"

Kayyyyy

Bye, :*

=HUGS&KISSES=

unforgetable moment part 3

Cont...

There a some good and bad things here (Langsa)

Good things are could eat delicious foods made by my grandma here, read comics, wake up late!!!

Hahha.

Bad things are yaaa even sleep late all day but should pretend like sleep already. and wait until my granda sure tht I am asleep. then she'll sleep.and I will  goo online. (I'm suffer hre you know),  no friends here. all of them moved already.

Cont...

Unforgetable moment part 2

Cont..
And I could sing the song perfectly.
Even misses some part.
But i passed!!!!
Until now still hrd to believe tht could do tht curch service.
But i should pass MSJ nd few days of training.
 aaaa! me just wait anymore.
I can't attend the first day of training cause my mom ask me to ga home.
And now here i am. in a part of ACEH. a small, warm town 'Langsa'
Cont..

unforgetable moment part 1

holaaaa!!!
Its been a while since last time posted something on my blog. =))


Y ll know what??
I was so afraid on the day before my Praise and Worship audition.
I lossttt my VOICE!! 
I couldn't sleep cause i'm worry about the audition.
On the next day, I'm still worry bout my voice.
But maybe its a miracle, when entered the audition room,
Somehow felt like a got extra power (too much Drama) cont...

Me Myself and I

waaaa.
my first post!!
i've been very confuse about become a blogger, i don't understand how to use it. --"
nahhh, lets talk abot my self.
i'm a girl that love to sing, eat, sleep, reading novels and comics.
and the most imprtant thisng issss

"I LOVE GOD"



the first time i know god is on my birthday. a friend invited me to a church called Gereja Mawar Sharon. it was the fist time i go to church. there was a drama, and the Church was soooo fun. and when they prayed idk why i cried. that was the first time i cried for God. some said that I've accepted Him in my heart.




and than i joined them. they have a community called connect group. connect group is a place to share, to have fun with and you'll know more about each other there. our CG members are me , tania, mami Lydia, ko Michael, ci Era, Rajen Olivia, Jovita, ketty, and manyyy more (sorry guys i can't mention one by one).
nahhhh, its been 2 months since i joined them. and  i realyyy want to have a church service schedule. my leader (mami Lydia) said that i must baptist first, than they'll allow me to do a chruch service. its sooo hard fr me to make a decision. its because my family is Buddhist and of course they wont allow me to become a Christian.




once upon a time, (buahahhhah) i joined the reatreat at gelora kasih, sibolangit. we got sooo may lesons there. and i decited to make my self become a real Christian. and i was baptized.






nahhh nahhh nahhhh, now my only problem is....
i applied my self to join a church sevice as a "singer" . and the audition will be held on july 2nd. and im sooo naervous now. idk why maybe because of the judgesn or maybe i doubt on my own ability. TT
rely on God is the best descision.


i guess i've written sooo long up there.
my mom told me to sleep earlier today
so im going to sleep mow
good night
God bless you :)

=HUGS&KISES=