It has been ages since the last time i write on my blog. i figured out that i might start to write again. because i could use this blog as my diary. i read through my old post, feel a bit weird, i cant believe at how cheesy i was, and desperately i love with a guy that i don't even have have any feelings anymore right now, one thing that i learnt from my last mistake is that whenever that i feel like falling in love with someone, never fell too much, or act like the world is going to explode if we are not together. because, usually it will just be a temporary feelings that probably will be my reason to laugh in the future about how stupid i was.
i fell in love for several times, but because i learnt my lesson, i never really bother to impress them, what i do is just maybe look at them secretly or stalk their Instagram (was that still creepy?). hahahahaha. fall in love or being attracted for someone is completely normal for us human beings because we have like some kind of hormones i guess (such a smart-ass :))
a lot of things have been happening i my life since the last time i blogged. it is literally too much that i don't even know where too start.
first of all let me just say that already went to college and this year is my second year, i still have about a year ahead of me. i studied hospitality management, which is not an options that most people will choose, but i enjoyed studying the major that i chose. i get to learn a lot of new things and improve myself.
i really hate lesson that includes counting, numbers , plus, minus, times, anything like that you name it. in high school i never really study math or accounting, i always cheat on tests, i asked my friends how to do assignments, etc. Basically, i don't understand every single thing about those when i was in high school. when i went to college i was surprised that we have to study accounting for about 5 terms of studying. because i thought that there will be no counting subjects in hospitality management.
i dont know what ghost entered my body, but as i entered college, i feel different, i feel like i've the responsibility to take care of my self, the responsibility to have good grades. so as the beginning of the year, as expected, i was struggling to catch up with the lessons. i get almost no A for every lesson, especially accounting, but i was not satisfied with myself, i started to study really hard and tried my best. as result, i get almost straight As now. i used to always get C n my accounting, now everything is AAAAAAAA :D (proud as fuck)
this year was not a really god year or me and my family. we found out that my mom has a breast cancer with grade 2. at first she found out that she has a lump under her pits, we got her checked out, the test result here said that she is okay, and we just have to remove the lump. we were relived by the test result.
we decided to remove the lump at penang, Malaysia. as we arrived, we waited for several of hours, and finally the nurse called mom's name. as we saw the doctor, he said that the lump is dangerous, and my mom has to have her right breast (where the lump is) completely removed, and he said she will be okay after that. after the surgery we have to wait for a bout a week to see the test result and to know exactly what happened to her. so sadly the doctor said that my mom has a cancer, and ask her to come again for further therapy.
she looked okay and still make jokes, but i know that she is scared and worried, not about herself, but about us, i know that she cries at night, she dont really have the appetite to eat. all i can do is be with her and tell her that everything is going to be okay and i will always be with her to go through this.
 |
| i love you mom, always :) |
i was really scared and worried, who wont? :(
i searched on google about everything i need to know about this disease, the fact scares me that i decided not to browse any longer. i afraid to lose her,i afraid to see her in pain, i never thought that this thing will happen to her.
she is an amazing mother, amazing wife, and amazing human being. she always puts everyone else before herself, she always help people in need, she is an amazing mom for me, for everything I've done to her she still loves me. she work really hard for all of us, she hardly ever spoil herself. all she ever thought was just how to make us happy, how to make us have a good future, and she is just an amazing mom for me.
i guess that's all for this post.
i will try to post more in the future :)
=HUGS & KISSES=
